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Dr. Vicki's Blog

  • 09 Jan 2018 4:39 PM | Dr. Vicki High (Administrator)

    My heart is heavy as I read the verbal attacks for and against Oprah and Ivanka. When did we become so judgmental on things we know nothing about? Once the abuse victim, our words lead us into the role of the abuser if we are not diligently seeking to heal from the abuse. As we forgive those who trespass against us, we try to understand the why and how as well as the impact on us personally. In my work, I find that abusers are often former victims. That doesn't make it right. That doesn't change the abuse, but it is part of the truth. 

    Forgiveness and accountability are necessary to change the situations, but rants and spewing - that may be free speech, but can also become verbal abuse. 

    Here are a few things to ponder: 

    We want the truth, but can we handle the truth?

    We demand change, but we have waited years to speak up. Then we judge others for not acting and speaking up on our behalf according to our time frame. Then we rant and accuse - what makes this right on any level???? 

    We speak of honoring the truth. We support Oprah's speech while receiving the Cecil B. DeMille Award, because we hear the truth in her words, but we do not allow for Ivanka to speak her truth, especially if it supports the #TimesUp issues? 

    I feel that's a case of too many people determining what the truth is... for me, for Oprah, for Invanka and the millions of other women and men who feel strongly about this issue. Think long and hard about the dirty, little secrets we keep because someone we love, someone we know, or some stranger in our world does something unthinkable to us or someone we know. 

    Look inside - what makes people judge and jury over others when they haven't dealt with ugly family secrets or the ways they abuse themselves and others. What I've learned is you spot it - you've got it in some form or fashion. #youspotityougotit

  • 12 Dec 2017 5:23 PM | Dr. Vicki High (Administrator)

    My passion is words – reading them, writing them, speaking them, repeating them. Words are the very building blocks of communication.

    One word – Sovereignty – comes to mind in the recent allegations of sexual assault from people in the spotlight, whether politicians, stars or ordinary citizens. I believe more victims will continue to speak out.  And what about “innocent until proven guilty?” What about the outpouring of sympathy for alleged perpetrators, while the victims are questioned about why it has taken decades to reveal their abuse? How are we to deal with that? All good questions with sometimes complicated answers.

    Sovereignty. According to Wikipedia, Sovereignty is the concept of a state or governing body that has the right and power over itself without ANY interference from outside sources or bodies. An act of war is the direct offense or threat where borders and boundaries are overrun by forces, by dictators, who feel rules do not apply to them. These forces hold no respect for integrity or the boundaries of others. They would not tolerate the same behavior if directed at them. No encroachments allowed. They would not hesitate to use force to do what they want without retribution.

    If the United States were the victim and North Korea was the perpetrator, then if North Korea attacked the United States, the sovereignty of the United States would allow for us to protect and defend ourselves against attack. We do not tolerate aggression nor threats, and retaliation would be a certainty. We get this, right? No question. There is absolutely zero difference in the sovereignty of a victim of bullying, domestic violence or sexual assault.

    The victim has a right for retaliation, defense, and aggression to defend its boundaries. If we understand this art of war, we surely can understand it when a personal war is waged against an individual to to submit to the will of another who wields power and control over the individual regardless of that individual’s sovereignty. No means no. Crossing the line has consequences. Today, it’s way past time to teach each child, teen and adult that they hold the power over themselves and that someone forcing him/herself on them is an act of war. 

    Here’s my take on it: Bullying, Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault have to do with power and control. Let’s talk about that. Why haven’t victims found their voices before now? Could it be that the very people who perpetrated this violence are the people who are in power? You know – the glass ceiling, the good ole boys club, the untouchables. They hold the advantage. Remember, most of these victims depended on the same perpetrators for their livelihoods. It’s not surprising that these heinous acts were shrouded in secrecy and veiled threats, including, “no one will believe you.”

    Once a few brave, courageous victims began to break their silence, the cracks began to shatter the glass ceilings and rip the shrouds of secrecy from complicit “good ole boys”. Soon a few more voices joined in telling their truths. More secrets were revealed, and the cracks continued… We had a chance to address this with a preview of coming attractions – allegations and accusations against the man who played the beloved Dr. Huxtable. His reputation protected him for decades until the details from his trial were broadcast into every home on the nightly news. We heard the truth. From the reports this week, we are made to feel sympathetic for the perpetrators losing their livelihoods. If they hadn’t been accused publicly, then they would continue doing what they’ve been doing, heedless of the devastation they created in these victims’ lives.

    If the only voice we hear is the voice of the perpetrator covering his lies with, “People will just believe you. You just tell them, and they will believe you,” and there is no rebuttal, then people will believe these lies. However, if the voices of the victims are heard, the truth will ring out and echo in the hearts of people everywhere. Maybe then it will be real - as if it happened to my daughter, your son, my sister, or your brother. Each one of us is built with an indicator to hear the truth. The more we practice that gift, the clearer the words we hear. It’s time to stop the lies and hold people accountable for their acts of war and aggression. It’s time to stop the pain of sovereign violations. Tell the truth, make amends, then seek forgiveness. It’s time to do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do. Don’t you agree?

    Dr. Vicki High, Advocate, Speaker, Author, Counselor, Integrative Medical Practitioner, Woman #metoo

  • 16 Sep 2011 11:45 AM | Dr. Vicki High (Administrator)
    Dr. Phil's Life Law #2 says each choice we made led us to this moment in our lives. It's the choice that holds power to create our reality and we can choose differently to head in a new direction. Conscious choices - especially ones from the heart - lead us into our destiny and the mission/purpose that we are here to accomplish. Where are you headed and how will you get there? If you are headed away from your purpose, how can you find your way back? Simply choose differently. It's simple, but we think it is so complicated! Rather sometimes, we make it complicated. I challenge you to spend five minutes just thinking of where you want to go and then allow Spirit to direct your path. Who knows the sights and wonders that will come your way!

  • 25 Jan 2011 4:45 PM | Dr. Vicki High (Administrator)

    My mom has been the greatest lesson of my life. We learn from and teach each other. How I see myself. How I select mates. How I feel about the world around me. These are all patterns from my parenting that influence my life consciously if I am aware or unconsciously if I’m not. As an observer of people, I love seeing the patterns behind the decisions we make in life and amazingly, we have the power to change them if we become aware of their power and influence over us.

    As difficult as it was, my mom and I broke the patterns. Sometimes the discussions were really volatile and sometimes the lessons were tender and loving. When I was able to step back and view the situation without being immersed in the wave of emotion that occasionally threatened to drown us, I could see the ties from our patterns to patterns of generations before us. As we broke those patterns, we actually changed the patterns of our ancestors – the unconscious binding into outdated ways of living – the threads that kept us tied to old ideas and beliefs.

    My mom is a great dancer and her favorite dance is the North Texas Push. It’s such a great metaphor for our relationship. We dance together and then we “push” each other apart, still bound at the hands. It is a direct and intent push with the emotion of “get away from me” while still being connected. No matter how hard we push, we can’t stay apart. Sometimes one partner throws the other partner to the ground and then pushes her through the legs and back again. Then that partner jumps back to her feet after being on the ground. There is a moment when the two dancers move together beautifully, complimenting each other’s moves and steps. Then one partner throws the other up in the air – is it flying or is it throwing the other away? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Maybe that part of the dance helps us realize at that moment, we are at the pentacle and can see forever. Maybe in the human dimension we are angry enough to toss the relationship away, but can’t because of the great love we share!

    In the trauma of our mama drama, we have shared secrets that no one else knows about what’s happened in our lives. By being truthful, sometimes painfully so, we have grown as mother and daughter. We’ve changed the dance and added some unique steps of our own. We’ve learned more about the many faces of love that masquerade behind the masks of frustration, fear, anger and shame. What great love abounds between the mother who dreams and the child growing in her womb!  What does the future hold for each of them? The dreams sometime collide with reality. It takes courage to grab life and demand how you want to live and live fully present in ‘now’ without being constantly reminded of past failures!

    For the daughter – for me?  I dance. Sometimes when the emotion combusts, it becomes more like a tango with such passionate, angry movements. The bottom line is this - rather than argue or fight – sometimes it’s okay to say, “Mom, this is just the way we dance.” Somewhere in the last few years, I’ve grown to judge her actions less and love her more. For years, I wanted to change her, empower her, make her into what I wanted. Who wouldn’t balk at this controlling behavior?  This amazing woman has scars from life and so do I. When we are in sync, it’s beautiful and when we step on each other’s toes, it hurts. It’s not a broken leg. It’s not a dislocated hip or even a terminal illness. It is simply a bruised toe and heals rather quickly. Amputation would be a little overkill on how to handle the pain!

    For you see, my mother is my greatest gift in life. She is after all, the one who introduced me to Scarlett O’Hara as together the three of us, mom, my sister and I, sat in the theatre forgoing refreshments so what little money we had went towards Mom’s admission for the shared experience.  She sees the worst in me and the best. She is sometimes hard on me because she is truly harder on herself. She sees me as a reflection of the dreams she had – being on stage in front of an audience and wowing them. She sees me as the entrepreneurial success that she never acknowledged she was in her heart of hearts. She sees herself in me with the search for the love of her life and feeling worthy of finding happiness. She sees the youth that is waning as I approach and embrace middle age, which makes her 21 years older than that. Somewhere amidst the marks of age on her face, she remains youthful!  The child that laughs and jokes is still present. Sometimes I wonder if that started as a coping mechanism to cover up the loss of her own mother, and I marvel at her ability to mother in spite of not having one to teach her how.  If so, I realize what a smart woman/child she was to grieve through laughter.

     I wonder when I became the serious child that tried to parent rather than laugh with her. I see her within me - that child within that is a reflection of her. Her gift of love and laughter bring the vibrant colors to my life and I realize she is the greatest example of who I can be – joy-filled, loving, generous, kind and stubborn as a mule. The important things that every woman needs to embrace in order to be fully female. Sometimes I regret the time it took to learn how marvelous she truly is and each moment becomes an opportunity to treasure her presence in my life with every breath. 

  • 01 Jan 2010 12:07 PM | Dr. Vicki High (Administrator)

    My friends and mentors, Tina Ferguson and Steve Straus, are great gifts to me. During one of the SBBS - Small Business Big Success - meetings, Steve posed the question, "You are winning the game you're playing, but what game are you playing?"

    Now at the beginning of 2010, you are poised to ask and answer, "What game are you winning? He suggests that you know by where you place your energy and your money. If it is important to you, you don't let money stand in your way. You make it happen and the money flows, provided by the Law of Attraction, intention, Spirit - Source.

    If you don't know the game you're playing, it's playing you. Others decide the game, the rules and you get swept up in the momentum as an unconscious player.

    Now beginning in 2010, I recommend you actively, consciously decide to play the game:

    The Game of Life, The Game of No More Excuses, The Game of Dreaming Big Dreams and Living Them, The Game of Matching Emotions, Thoughts, Words and Actions, The Game of Clarity.

    It means living your life - your way! Happy New Year - It is time to face the brilliance of your most wonderful creations!

  • 07 Oct 2009 3:53 PM | Dr. Vicki High (Administrator)

    A voice was speaking through a student in a recent workshop and I asked, "Who are you?" The answer came in an interesting way...

    “I Am. I Am All That’s Not Been Present. I Am Who You’ve Been Waiting For. I Am All That is Coming and All That Will Be. It is a birthing. It is a birthing of the new. Ooooh. Ahhh. Ohhhh. Be ready. Be ready to receive. Are you receiving that light? It’s so beautiful. 

    This is an important time as a woman. You’ve received the new. This is the light to carry - to carry into this new world. Don’t worry that it’s too big to hold. There is a whole circle that are receiving this light. "

    Are you feeling the new light - the new energy? Does it seem too big to hold? Fear not, you will not have to carry it alone. You step up and carry it with those who are called to help you.

    How amazing is the gift of communion with Spirit! I am amazed at the incredible gift this work has been to me and so many others!

  • 12 Jul 2009 12:05 AM | Dr. Vicki High (Administrator)

    Cancer is a word when uttered, immediately spreads fear, disillusionment and despair. It translates as time - a guess of how much at best and a limitation of life at the least.

    Cancer? What is the purpose of cancer? Is it the result of a lifetime of injuries due to emotional experiences and nutritional choices? Is it the pathway to explore new ways of living to make the most of the time that is left? Is it a result of fear unleashed at such a vibration that the Law of Attraction brings that greatest fear vibration into manifested action? Is it the reward/penalty for the focus of mass fear of the collective unconscious? Is it a nudge from the Creator to say, "I Am closer to you than you can imagine. Lean on me. I can perform miracles."

    Cancer often helps us define what quality of life we want to live. Today. How do we want to live today - right now? Often it is the gift of life rather than the continual existing of days and nights and days and nights, running together endlessly while years pass quickly by without ever being aware of the passing of time at all. What if cancer gifts us with the awareness of how precious life truly is? What will we do with the time that ticks by before we hear that word...

  • 10 Jul 2009 11:55 PM | Dr. Vicki High (Administrator)

    I recently found myself waiting for a friend in Starbucks. My mind wandered - first business, then personal issues danced across my vision. A giant target was painted on one wall and I contemplated the "empty" hole in the middle. Do holes exist in the middle of everything?

    I flashed to Nassim Harmein's work with black holes. He is proving how black holes exist in our micro- and macrocosms. Black holes - chasms of creation - exisst in every breath, every heartbeat, every atom. Actually black holes exist in the center of every planet, star and solar system. My wondering continued as I pondered if this black hole could actually be God? In the awesome omnipresence of God, could this be a glimpse of the Almighty in the mundance and the majestic?

    If the black hole is the essence of creation itself, could that be the Holy of Holies that exists in every particle of creation? Could that be the place where Stillness Speaks - the abyss - where everything is possible? I wonder...

  • 10 Jul 2009 11:22 PM | Dr. Vicki High (Administrator)

    Many people talk about “living from the heart” but what does that really mean? Does it mean being nice all the time? I don’t think so. Does it mean living like Mother Theresa? Maybe part of the time. I think that when we begin to awaken, we become aware of the ways in which we interact with others. Sometimes these interactions are loving and sometimes they are not. So how do we begin to live the life we choose to live? It starts with how we love ourselves.

    What kind of foundation is this new life built on? In my experience, I had to shore up the foundation because beliefs I held dear needed to be excavated. There were cracks in some and others had to be completely annihilated because they no longer served me. I had to heal the wounds that other encounters with people throughout my life had left on my heart – ugly words, accusations, divorces, deaths – you name it and there are many more. For me life changed when I sat in a swing and spoke with all my “mini-mes.” I actually listened and heard how the aspects of my life still had such a great impact on how I felt about me and how I was keeping myself imprisoned by those old programs. I broke free. I give these Mini-me Exercises great marks for they absolutely changed my life. They weren’t easy, but for the first time in my life, I actually spent time hearing from the parts of me that had been suppressed. I grew to love the courage shown by these aspects of who I had grown to be and then allowed to express themselves. My four –year old wants to experience nature more often. My fifteen-year old wants to dance more. My fifty-year old wants to be free to live her spiritual journey in her own way.

    These Mini-Me Exercises are my gifts back to those called to explore their own inner wisdom and begin to lay a foundation for greatness. Why would you want to be imprisoned by old thoughts, beliefs or comments one more minute? Break free today! Love yourself that much!

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